| my high school english teacher used to say that life was like a rubber ball, it bounces your way and sometimes it doesnt bounce your way. and in many ways this is true. in my life i have had many obstacles and setbacks. i havnt dont things the way i wanted and it is too late for that to change. i only can make the rest of my life better...i've been through a lot and at a young age, some others have gone through the same at even younger age and have dealt with it and overcome it. and for that i repsect and admire them. i've been though a war in the most depressing and desolate and dangerous place in the world, becuase of this i was not able to spend the last moments with my mother near the end of her days, my father abandoned us, but has recently come around a little but not a lot, and now the responsibility to pay mortgage and bills and take care of my aunt and grandma to the best of my abilities, no one is perfect and i am far from it. i still have my out bursts and frustrations. somtimes i wonder what it would be like to be like the wealthy kids and not have to worry about money. but then again i would take for granted a lot of things. i've worked hard for what i have now and i think thats a great trait in me, and i am down to earth. when i think about it i am the wealthiest man alive, i have my health, a steady paycheck, a roof over my head, transportation and a family who cares for me, and a puppy who is the cutest thing ever. i have made mistakes in the past and i think now i am one step closer to getting to be my old self again, i still have not been able to forgive myslef for not being there for my mother, but i am slowly and surely coping with that through therapy and my depression with therapy and medication. hopefully one day i will be my normal self again. im gettin there, and id like to that thank my friends and family who have been there with support and standing by my side. i can always count on them. id like to apologize to all the people i did wrong too and hurt. i hope that someday they can find it in their hearts to forgive me. one thing that is missing in my life is somone to share the ups and downs, the good and the bad, to have someone there by my side when i wake up in the morning, and when i go to sleep, the first person i think of when i wake up and the last when i go to sleep. someone who will take a chance on me. i know im not the best looking, have a lot of money, or the most intelligent, although i like to think i have street smarts, but i have more to offer then money, good looking or anything like that, i have morals, compassion, understanding, trust, sense of humor, love, sense of right and wrong, a best friend, good family values, and a good head on its shoulder. there are more important things in like then money, like family, and friends. if there is any woman out there who is looking for a guy like this let me know... |
